“I like when my partner does little circles around my clitoris,” says Grace*, 30, from Illinois. “I enjoy lots of things during oral sex, but if I had to choose one thing: STAY ON MY CLITORIS AND JUST LICK IT.”Īnd if something is getting a positive response, there is nothing wrong with sticking to it. “There is no way I’m getting off without special attention to my clitoris,” she says. Krista, 49, from Ontario, agrees that “clitoral licking and suckling is a must.”īritt, 27, from Chicago, is even more emphatic. Kayla recommends that you “coax it with gentle licks and sucks, and let the first orgasm build slowly.” This might sound obvious, but it’s all about licking and suckling.Īfter building someone up to all that amazing oral sex action, the clitoris is a great place to focus the attention. “Come at my clit like you’re mad at it, and I’ll pull away and won’t get off.” 5. “I absolutely need clitoral stimulation for oral sex, but it has to start out slow and gentle before building to a more powerful suction or stimulation with a tongue,” says Kayla, 38, from Florida. I like it when there is buildup and I’m left begging for it.” “Don’t just go right in and go hard on my clit,” says Melanie*, 29, from New York. If you hit my 6 o'clock I will literally melt into a puddle of orgasms.” 4. “Take some time to figure out the direction, speed and location that make the legs twitch. “For me it’s at 6 o'clock-imagine the external clitoris is a clock: The hood is 12 and below the little nub is 6,” she explains. She explains that as a bisexual woman who both gives and receives oral sex, she has found this to be true time and again. Melissa, 25, from Brooklyn says that you can often find a specific spot on the clitoris that will send your partner into another pleasure dimension. If you think oral sex is a “one-tongue-fits-all” situation, you’ll be disappointed (and so will your partner). This is why figuring out what works for the specific person you’re with is so important. There is no limit to the variations in what we enjoy. We're all different, we vulva owners, so having a partner who knows how to listen to our bodily communication is key.” Mal, 35, from New York says that for them, the best oral sex is when “someone who's really into doing it listens to my body rather than trying to show off a bunch of tricks and tongue techniques! It's about me receiving pleasure, not about him showing off what he thinks he knows from having been with other. (And some, of course, may want no external clitoral stimulation at all.) Some only want external clitoral stimulation, while others want a combination of external and internal stimulation. Remember, the clitoral network is complex. Not every person enjoys oral sex the same way. Listen to your partner’s unique, individual body. “When it's led up to-instead of jumped into-it really changes the whole experience for me,” she says. Gabrielle, 28, from Wisconsin stresses the importance of warming up so that oral sex doesn’t feel perfunctory or like ticking an item off a checklist. Everyone involved deserves to have exactly the experience they want. And by the way, when you're figuring out how to make oral sex awesome, be sure to take into account the desires not only of the receiver, but of the giver. They’re not meant to be taken as directives, but rather as examples of the breadth, depth, and diversity of preferences and desires. Of course these are the tips, tricks, and preferences of 15 specific people. So, to get some nitty gritty, down-to-earth assistance, I asked 15 people with vaginas for their best oral sex advice. Because not everything works the same way for every person with a vulva, my job can be rather difficult. Might I remind you that the clitoris-the rosebud-like bump at the top of the vulva-is extraordinarily sensitive?īut due perhaps to social and cultural baggage regarding talking openly about vaginas and pleasure, there is so much conflicting advice out there on how to do it “right.” I’m often asked for oral sex tips, and the truth is that there's really no such thing as right for every person receiving or giving oral sex. As a sex educator and coach, you might say I’m on a mission to let everyone know that cunnilingus is fabulous to give and to receive. The pleasure of oral sex is, for many people, one of the joys of being human.
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